WARNING: This article has graphic imagery that may be upsetting to sensitive people.
Being pregnant doesn’t appeal to me AT ALL!
It seems like the worst chore imaginable. It’s like having 9 months’ worth of PMS: sore boobs, swollen feet, nausea, mood swings and so on. And to make matters worse the end of term finishes with childbirth. A strenuous physical ordeal with hours of pain, after birth and other body fluids, and that’s if all things go well.
Thinking about motherhood made me realise I really don’t want to get pregnant. I know I could love a child without being part of the pregnancy (sister’s keeper). I could even be a fierce mother. So I toyed with the idea of being a mum and I just knew, “I just don’t want to be pregnant.” Then I started thinking about having a surrogate.
V, was so shocked when we were talking about motherhood. I told her pregnancy seemed like the worst, and it would be a big hindrance to my lifestyle and career. She, on the other hand ,was really looking forward to getting pregnant and looked at me like
We got into a heated debate which eventually lead to her saying things like, and I’m paraphrasing here, “if you used a surrogate then you wouldn’t really be that child’s mother.” This was a very weird statement to make. I don’t really think she meant it because from a genetics standpoint, the child would in fact be mine and as a scientist herself, she knew that.
She wasn’t the only one who was confused by my choice, Kal-El was perplexed when we were discussing children. He was gushing over the thought of having a son and then wondered how I could possibly bond with the child if I wasn’t carrying it. And I thought how does (has) any father bonded with his child even though he was never going to carry them?
How was having a surrogate any different to that?
So it was never about it being wrong. I think it was about me, changing the rules to be what I wanted them to be. I’m supposed to follow the script and not adlib as I go along. After all I would be emotionally and financially supportive but not committing my body to the pregnancy or childbirth.
I mean I could even just wait and pull a Janet, have my children when I’m 50 and it would be such a problem. Yet there are so many men who have children when there are well past their 40s.
I just find in fascinating how people feel there is only one right way to live life. There are so many different things that have shaped us and it is preposterous to think that there is only one path to have a fulfilled life.
I also thought about adoption because I have never really felt the NEED to procreate. Why should I create a whole new human being when there are so many on the planet? I think it would be so good to help a child in need, to help someone so vulnerable and give them the guidance and support for them to better themselves and the world around them. I think it would be noble cause, even if it was just for one child.
I am still young, I have loads to accomplish. There are only two people I need to please and that’s me and my maker. And for right now, we’ve decided no babies.
*Picture from a Google search