In the bible, there is a story that is the epitome of a shitty human. Cain messed up but his youngen was praised for doing the right thing. So he killed Abel and then when he was asked about his little bro’, the guy disowned him.

Unlike Cain, I was (still am) a really good elder sibling, awesome even. I was so excited when Mah was pregnant. I would tell anyone who would listen, we; Mah, TheSpermDonor, and I, were having a baby. I would give them a full report, I was having a baby sister, I would say if she kicked or not and that I talked to her. On the day of her birth, I stayed up eagerly awaiting her arrival.

MyTribe andI
MyTribe and I

There is no one I love more.


Say we were playing gun to your head, you tell me I can only save one family member:

Grandmah or MyTribe? MyTribe.

Granddad or MyTribe? MyTribe.

Mah or MyTribe? MyTribe.

MyTribe or…

Don’t get me wrong I love my family but MyTribe



She is MY TRIBE. She is the only other person who has gone through the craziness of biodad, the unbelievable family drama, the struggle of growing up lower middle class and being a black African woman in a patriarchal Zambia. I am very protective over her.  Fierce even. When someone talks shit about her (especially on how she looks or her ability), I want to hunt them down and gauge their eyes out.

GoT viper vs mountain.gif

I hate when she is sad. I am so at ease when I am with her. My “cold” quiet demeanour goes out the window, and suddenly I am speaking at such high decibels. We can talk about literally anything; minutes turn to hours without even feeling it. We are incredibly silly when we are together, pulling funny faces, talking in funny accents, telling jokes.

Most times we are borderline telepathic. We can send each other a thought without uttering a word. And it became really serious, when we were 1398km (868 miles) away from each other. I would get a feeling that something was not okay with her, and when I would call find my gut feeling was right. And it worked both ways.  We are and always have been able to cheer each other up. Even when life threw some messed up shit at us. There were some tough times and she was still able to laugh and make jokes and when I was low, she would have great wisdom that would not reflect her young age.

I know she hates surprises but I love surprising her on christmas or on her birthday. Don’t get me wrong, she annoys me sometimes and I am sure I nag her, the heck. But she is my first responsibility. There have been many times during varsity, I had to hustle so that she had groceries, and at least one time when I had to make sure her medical aid was paid. If either us have a good idea we will support each other even when there is no one else doing so.


Greys_my person

Now there is something you should know me, I am a bit of an emotional retard. My brain takes a while to register what my heart is feeling. So it takes me a while to actually know how I feel when I am feeling it. I may be in love, or jealous or sad or mad, but there is a buffering time. So I was taken aback when I started to reflect on my life. The thing that stuck was I had shared these feelings for other women that echoed those I had for MyTribe.

I didn’t realise how much my blood boiled when Sweet&Bubbly’s mom degraded her about her weight. I couldn’t speak up because I had just met the woman but I remember wanting to tell her to shut up and walk off with Sweet&Bubbly.

Come Sweet&Bubbly, we don’t need this **

I completely panicked when BadAssBeech called and I could barely hear her as she mumbled with distraught. I ran out of my apartment in my PJs and hair bonnet, worried she had been attacked. I held her tight, thankful she was physically unharmed. I feel like I belong with yet I am still in awe of BeyStan, MixedPrincess, Arsenal&Whiskey and BlackGirlLongHair. They are all younger than me but expand my horizon in so many things: sex, politics, booze, sports, racism, food, respectability, you name it. I can’t believe when BeYourMotivation says she is a fan of mine when she is so mature and wise, three years my junior. It is amazing how funny TheQuietOne is, you never know what will come out of her mouth. But the thing that shocks me the most is when she says “that’s a good idea OBW.” Every time there I get job or study opportunities that apply to one of them I pass them on and vice versa.

I can literally discuss anything with SisterFromAnotherMister, it doesn’t matter if she were in another town, timezone or continent. It doesn’t feel like time or space can affect our bond. It bewilders me how quick it was to bond with AuntyNiece and LikerOfThings. We hit it off almost immediately, we were mates. It is fantastic feeling to just talk to DivaSwag, Genghis or Mandown for hours like no space or time has passed from our last discussion. I cannot imagine a world without Zulu&Yellow and RachetFabulous who have told me some of the craziest stories. Stories I will “take to the grave”

*cough 3 fingers *cough **

I won’t forget how in A-levels CookALot pitched money-making schemes that included going door to door and I didn’t even blink. I just went for it, and we made some pocket money. It is fantastic having someone to do some kookie thing with. Literally stayed up watching an entire season of HIMYM.

And kids.. that’s how I met TheWalkingWeave **

I didn’t notice that I had more than one person in my tribe.

Edited by TheWalkingWeave

** Pictures from Google Search